Trials of the halfbrother
by michaelscarned
Summary: Naruto and hinata have been living happily for about a year after the 4th great ninja war. until they come across a strange young man who claims to be close to naruto NARUHINA awwww yeaaahhhh
1. Setup

Trials of the half-brother chapter 1

A/N: hey there guys. Ummm this is my first naruhina fanfic. I hope you like it. WARNING: major staff sergeant spoilers here in the first chapter. Some is speculation of where I think the story is headed.

Summary: It is a full year since the horrors of the 4th great ninja war. Uchiha Madara is dead, and Uchiha sasuke has been returned to the leaf village. That's all you need to know without me completely giving away the story.

Disclaimer: why the hell would I own naruto? Do you KNOW how ANNOYING it WOULD BE to READ these annoying fanfics! Also kishimoto own them.

Chapter 1: Aftermath

Naruto sat upon the stone face of his father looking down upon his favorite village with pride. It had been a little over one year since it was destroyed by pein, and the rebuilding process was near completion. The only reason it had taken this long was because of the fourth great ninja war. Which was promptly ended after naruto and the eight tails jinchuuriki, killer bee, had fought Madara and finally put an end to him.

As naruto stepped down from the stone face of his father his grin turned into a grimace, remembering what had happened during the fight. Killer bee had died during the final fight with Madara. But as an essential casualty in killing the master shinobi.

When he was halfway down the mountain his smile retuned. As he thought of the many good things to happen since the end of the war. Tsunade gave him the rank of jounin after the final fight. Under normal circumstances that kind of thing wouldn't have been allowed under normal circumstances, but since it was a time of war the hokage had the power to promote anyone and anybody how she damn well pleased.

His smile crept up on him even more so as he ended his descent upon the mountain as he saw his new reason for living since jiraiya had died, his beloved fiancé, Hyuuga Hinata. She had confessed her love for him long before the end of the war, however due to all the crazy shit that had happened after he was unable to properly address her feelings until he was being treated after the end fight with Madara.

As of three weeks ago they were engaged. At first naruto was worried. Her father HATED him with a burning passion of a thousand narusaku fans.(A/N: do you see, what I did there?). Naruto never was much of a thinker. He was the village hero, he had literally, brought back loved ones from the dead, he had defeated a once thought long gone, ancient evil. He had brought back the evil traitor Uchiha sasuke and spared his life to boot. And ended the blight of the Uchiha clan that had long plagued the Peaceful Village of Konoha.

When Naruto had fought sasuke, he was unable to sway sasuke with his words of understanding and kindness. Unfortunately, he was still an honorable shinobi and wouldn't go back on his word, that is his ninja way. He was however able to distract sasuke long enough to gouge his eyes out. Leaving him powerless and unable to see, or use his clans bloodline. Upon his return it took about 3 months to deliberate what to do with the traitor. Sakura was still in love with him. She believed she could save him.

Konoha did not feel as trusting and understanding as sakura or naruto were. They allowed him to live. But only in exchange for his other, _assets_(I'm talking about his balls). With the possibility of the wretched blight that was the Uchiha clan returning to the ninja world. The council felt satisfied. Along with the hokage, sakura, and naruto. Sasuke was still alive. Sakura was more than willing to adopt. Ironically enough sasuke was much more pleasant to be around without his sharingan, sense of automatic superiority, and balls. Sasuke was finally able to understand love, and get over his hate. Thanks to sakura and naruto's devotion to their friend.

For the first time In his life, naruto felt. He felt. At peace .kishimoto was not pleased. He walked hand in hand with his fiancé to the hokage tower to report for a mission. He was excited because soon, after this and maybe a few other missions, depending on the level of happiness of the daimyo's wife's cat. Would receive. His very. Own. Genin. Team.

Once he and his fiancé had reached the tower, they went up to meet with a very drunk Tsunade. She was drinking even heavier in celebration that all this crazy akatsuki horseshit was over. Unannounced to anyone else she was allowed to retire from this menial, monotonous job within the year. All she needed was for a certain blonde haired jounin to lead a Genin team to be able to complete a B rank mission. She snickered under her breath of _allll_ the paperwork she would leave for him to do.

When Naruto entered the office of Tsunade it was safe to say he was lookin snazzy. He did have what the kids called a 'natural swagga' about himself. He unfortunately when it came to adapting his look for the requirements of being a jounin, he severely lacked. He just wore his jounin jacket over his usual orange monstrosity for which he was known for as, 'the retarded chimp of the leaf'. He hated this name, but he was not called this out of mockery or disrespect no, he was gven this nickname during the war because like a retarded chimp, he had such immeasurable power that all would tremble and run with fear of his unknown power.

And so the drunkage spoke (a/n: do you see, what I did there?). she slurred her speech.

"heyy nawutoo, whatssupp buudddyyyyyyy?" Translation: greetings naruto, how are you?

"ehh not bad at all baa-chan" Naruto uttered, knowing Tsunade speak full well.

"coo buddy, coo. Now, what did I cawl yooz here fo? OH yuh, this heya mission. You needta take this guy right behind the sewet dwawuh where is hide my bwest swake ovuh to his home in spwing cunt-ry he. He. Hehehe." Translation: stop calling me that brat, now I need you, Hinata and shino to deliver a man to his home in spring country. This will be a C-ranked mission.

"okey dokey baa-chan, can do". Naruto said with enthusiasm.

Hinata looked at her fiancé in confusion

"don't ask honey, go meet with the caterer, ill get shino, lets meet back up at the gates in two hours. Ill have our stuff packed." Naruto told his fiancé so she wouldn't ask any questions. Not wanting to explain how he knew tsunade's slurred vocal patterns because he got really, really drunk with her the night he proposed to Hinata.

**Two hours later **

The team met up at the gates of konoha. With them was the employer. A high ranking noble from spring country. He and naruto had quite the conversation. Apparently he was the fiancé to the princess naruto had protected on his mission to snow country. He was sent there to verify trade routes between the two countries. He hired ninjas this time around for two reasons. One, he encountered a few low level ninas on his way to konoha and didn't want to leave his princess to mourn. And two, he thought that reuniting naruto and the princess would bring some joy to his wife-to-be's heart.

On their way to spring country they had indeed encountered a few low level shinobi, but nothing that shino's bugs or naruto's shadow clones couldn't handle.

Once on the boat to spring country, teyori, the princesses fiancé, saw it fit to strike up conversation with naruto.

"so, you know my fiancé?" teyori asked awkwardly.

"yeah, she was a handful, but I don't have to tell you that do i?" naruto commented. Not even noticing the mixed feelings of confusion, frustration, and anger in the nobles face.

"umm. No, actually, not at all. Ever." The noble added. Venom in his voice.

"oh! Well, this is akward." Naruto commented.

"hmm Quite." Teyori finished. Having no further interest in continuing the conversation in his angered state, he walked away.

"this is going to be a looonng mission" naruto thought allowed to his fiancé, whom was next to him. Blushing from embarrassment for her beloved.

"for you maybe naruto-kun, I plan on spending my time either in bed or in the hot springs once we reach the palace" Hinata said in a matter-of-fact sort of way.

**2 Weeks later**

With the spring country noble safe with his fiancé, completely unoffended and safe. The squad headed home, naruto eager as he was anticipating to get his genin team once they got home. Hinata was happy, the time in the palace of spring country was like a pre-honeymoon for her and her naruto. No they didn't do _that_ they had decided to wait for their wedding night, but nonetheless, they had an incredibly romantic time. In her opinion they deserved a medal for being able to keep it in their pants the entire trip. Poor Hinata, she was a closet pervert. She wanted to sooo badly. But she just couldn't. her values were too strong. Damn moral code.

As they passed the border into fire country, they were encountered by a strange man. He was adorned in a strange cloak with another cloak around the top half of it. Like a 360 tablecloth around his neck.(sorry I suck at describing this, think hikaru's outfit from the third movie only brown). On his back was a strange string instrument. Hinata thought it was what some elders had the branch family play during dinners on special occasions with her family. But she forgot what it was called.

"whats with the violin?" shino questioned. An eyebrow raised at the strange man.

"none of your damn business" the man said.

"who the hell are you?" naruto asked, somewhat intruiged by the strange man

"the plot" the author made the man speak. In order to get some sort of cheap laugh

A/N: okay guys, how was that horrific, god-awful, uneventful, mind numbingly boring? Let me know in a review of what you think. You can flame me if you want. I don't care this is a hobby and I know how the story ends because its in my damn mind. Anyway. 10 actual reviews = I continue this story. NOTE there will be a lemon in the next five chapters. I apologize for the first half of this I realize it is mostly just me describing what shit happened after chapter 542 as it is currently the newest chapter.


	2. Plot arrives

Trials of the Half-brother chapter 2

A/N: ok I am writing this b/c someone had added this story to their watch list. I felt encouraged and so now that's to that wonderful person you will all be treated to my greatness. But review dammit. After this chappy, 5 reviews = new chappy and it WILL be posted the day the of 5th review.

Recap: when we last left the story, naruto, Hinata, and shino were returning from a successful mission in spring country when they met a oh so mysterious stranger.

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto asked the strangely dressed boy.

"My name is Senju Kohaku. You killed my father, prepare to die" kohaku spoke in the most spainish accent he could muster. (A/N: huh huh. I made a reference. 5 points to Gryffindor if you can tell me what movie, IN A REVIEW)

"WHAT?" the collective three spoke, dumbstruck.

While the three shinobi of the leaf were busy gaping at what they guessed what a man who was, for lack of a, oh fuck it they thought he was totally smashed all right.

Any who, as the three ninjas were busy gawking at the strange man. He pulled out something behind his back. At this moment naruto stepped in front of Hinata and prepared to make a shadow clone army to protect her. The newcomer pulled out, now a giant shuriken, not a scroll, not a bazooka, but a ukulele. When he pulled the instrument from behind his back naruto fell down on his back with laughter.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT BAKA. THIS IS AN INSTRUMENT OF PUUURREE TORTURE AND PAIN!" yelled the newcomer. Filled with pure rage at the man whom he believed to have killed his father.

"Yeah, I heard john mayer's new CD too. It was painful but nothing I can't handle" Naruto spoke whilst trying to keep from busting a gut where he stood. Behind him Hinata was having a nice giggle herself. Even shino was able to let out a stoic, "he"

"WHY YOU LITTLE SHIT!" kohaku then began to play the ukulele. As the music began to play, something interesting was happening.

"HINATA WHAT'RE YOU DOING! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" Naruto screamed out of pure surprise. Once the music began to play Hinata had formed a shadow clone and began to attack her teammates.

It was obvious what was happening, as Kohaku played the douche national anthem, it placed Hinata under some sort of strange jutsu. Thus, making her attack them.

While Hinata tried to attack Naruto and shino, naruto was at a crossroads. What should he do? Should he attack the love of his life, the only woman whom had ever loved him in return without giving him enough knots in the head to thoroughly piss off a second grader whom had just learned how to tie his/her shoes? Or should he just keep dodging until he or Hinata eventually tire out. Ultimatelty he decided to grow a pair and do what the hell I (the author) tell him to.

**Kage Bunshin No Jutsu**

Just then around ten narutos appeared out of nowhere. Three went to shino, three went to hold back Hinata, and the rest went to end the incessant tool tunes coming from the increasingly annoying man that called himself Kohaku. Never mind his last name because naruto was a tard and didn't enjoy putting three and two together to make 5. No, he rather preferred it made a small badger, yeah, a badger. Mmm fuck yeah, a badger. Little paws and. oh I'm sorry what was I talking about, oh, yeah the fight.

Naruto charged at Kohaku, one clone did a strange thing with his right hand.

'what's he doing? Having his clone apply lotion for later? Well this seems hardly the time to OH SWEET MERCIFUL GEEZUS THAT HURTS IN THE PAINFUL AREAS OH THE PAIN!' Kohaku thought as a Rasengan was plunged into his chest.

**Rasengan**

"Ow" was all Kohaku said as the small orb of chakra was placed gingerly in his chest.

'Gingerly? The hells that mean?' Naruto thought with extreme anger towards the author of this god awful story.

As naruto stepped back from the blast. Feeling accomplished as Hinata was no longer under the control of this Jason mraz wannabe was over. No more emotional decisions for him today. Orrrrrr maayyybbeeee nnooottttt?

'NO' naruto screamed at the author. If the fourth wall wasn't shattered before it certainly was now.

Dammit. Oh well. Like I was saying before an annoying little shit interrupted my train of thought. Naruto looked down at the surely dead corpse of the fallen stranger with pride. All happiness left his face, replaced with annoyance as the corpse disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Clapping could be heard from the distance.

The author took a bow.

'NOT YOU' Kohaku said. No love for the author today. Well looks like another night of one man twister for me. Oh well. What was I saying? Oh yeah, plot developments! Yay!

"Well done Naruto-san, I could expect no less from konoha's number one knuckleheaded shinobi." Kohaku spoke as all three leaf nin stared in annoyance and pissed offery (is that a word. Ah who the fuck cares).

"Who the hell are you man?" naruto yelled, venom in his voice.

"I told you before, Senju Kohaku." Kohaku said calmly

"yeah, yeah, and I killed your father, and I should prepare to die and douche music, whatever"

"What? No, oh I see, you must've killed my douche clone. That's why. He makes references a lot. And plays a really shitty ukulele. You see I have several clones, each with their own personality, you know what ill tell you later".

"What? Listen man, I don't know who you are bu-" Naruto was cut off by this seemingly now rude newcomer with whats this? Scratched out sound headband! *cues ominous music*

" I am Senju Kohaku, as I have told you. More importantly I am the bastard son of your Godaime hokage, and your Yondaime hokage." Proclaimed the rude sonofabitch mysterious stranger.

Who is this mysterious stranger? What does he want? Why does he have a Scratched out sound headband? More importantly, does anyone give a shit? These questions and more will be answered. As soon as you MOTHERFUCKING REVIEW!

A/N: like I said, no reviews, no new chapter. I don't give a shit. This entire story is in my head. I don't need to share this with you. Anyway thanks for reading, if you did. Spread the word around. Follow us on twitter, like us on facebook. Naw im just kidding. Anyone else HATE the fact that everyones on facebook now? Anyways. Talk to you later or not. review, or fuck off. Either way, I don't care. I have a girlfriend. I don't need your approval.


	3. the 4th wall has fallen!

**Trials of the half-brother chapter 3**

A/N: well people you are in luck. My girlfriend read this and liked it, in addition I got a review and another subscriber. Since this story isn't doing as good as I thought it would I went ahead and said bawls to it. So from now on I'm writing a new chapter after every new review or so.

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto. Or anything for that matter, I lost it all in a poker game. Lil advice, never play poker with judge Reinhold from Beverly Hills cop. All that botox has made his face completely numb and now he has an AMAZING poker face. Seriously, lady gaga aint got shit on him. Anyway. I don't own anything but this cardboard box I'm writing this in.

Recap: last we left our characters. A new man revealed his lineage to the three leaf nins.

"My name is Senju Kohaku, and I am the bastard son of your godaime and Yondaime hokages" said the former sound nin the second time because he is a fucking retard who likes to repeat things randomly.

"So that means…. You're my half-brother!" said naruto, with a mix of shock and excitement in his increasingly feminine voice from when his half-brother kneed him in the cahones during the two days the author decided to wait to post this chapter.

"No shit Sherlock, I've been following your story since I was with the sound. And I must say I'm impressed, beating a bunch of circus freaks calling themselves the akatsuki, an emo freak, and several small children when you got drunk and frustrated." Said the annoyed musician

"So… you were with orochimaru in the sound eh? Out of curiosity.. Did he ever?..." shino murmured. Quizzically.

"Yes, yes he raped me many times. It's taken me years of therapy and several memory seals and lots of time crying to myself in the shower but yes. I got over it. I also took his tiny dick with me as a trophy when I defected." Kohaku reminisced in a completely monotone voice. Much like that of a high school physics teacher explaining to his students why black holes would NOT let you travel through time, or that magnets are not in fact magic, but instead magic theory.

"Anyway, on to more pressing matters, I would like to go back to konoha with you. I have a breast I mean boob, I mean bone. Yes a bone to pick with your hokage. My mother." Kohaku explained, he was rather nervous from the stories he heard of the well-endowed hokage and her massive…..assets.

"Why should we, how do we know you're not a former akatsuki member looking for revenge?" Naruto asked, still unsure if his half-brother was genuine.

"Listen you lil shit, if I wanted to hurt you, bug boy here would already be dead, you would be tied up while I made you watch your precious fiancé here suffer while I slowly killed her in front of you." Said kohaku in a holy shit this is getting dark! I didn't make him say that. WHAT THE HELLS WRONG WITH YOU!

'Sorry Michael, I just got done watching a sesame street marathon with my kid before I came here. Little annoyed with all that cutesy crap and I need a little bit darker things to get my mind off it.'

Well ok, but watch it! This is a family 'M' rated fanfiction. My girlfriends reading this man.

'Sorry, won't happen again. Promise'

Damn right you promise. Jesus that was darker than Nick Cage's latest abortion to hit theatres. My apologies folks. This type of dismantling of the 4th wall won't happen for at least a few more chapters.

Anyways back to the story, where were we, oh yeah. Kohaku totes crossed the line with a threat.

"whoa man. Take it easy that was pretty dark" naruto said. A small stain appearing around his crotch

"don't worry ive gone over this with someone else, lets move on with the story. Anyway lets skip the argument bullshit shall we? Wanna take me back to konoha?" kohaku asked. Completely bawlsing up the delicate storyline that the author had planned.

'Don't fuck with me today Michael. Don't fuck with me'

Alright. Alright. Sheesh. '_Somebody needs to get laid'_

Sorry again folks. Deviating from the septum. Err story that is. Moving on.

"Hrmmm. I dunno. Seems pretty sketchy, like it seems hand-drawn". Naruto said. With an annoying eagerness to get something out of the deal not very well hidden in his voice.

"ill gve you three paer clips, a subway coupon. And a dvd of the 1995 movie "_Canadian Bacon_". Offered kohaku. Completely content with giving up the shitty alan alda bullshit that was the lastly offered item.

"Hrmmm. Add in a copy of transformers 2 and you got yourself a deal"! Naruto exclaimed. Clearly his taste in movies consisted in the humor of a 12 year-old, and the character values of big tits and lots of explosions. Go America. Err japan. Eh who gives a fuck? Anyone reading this? No, ok. Well if you are, write a goddamn review already. Won't hurt you promise. But flames will be used to make smores.

"Deal". Lucky for kohaku. He had a friend who was retarded lend him a dvd for transformers 2 last week. He was a volunteer at the local special Ed facility.

As the group made their way to konoha. Questions arose surrounding kohaku and his heritage.

"Well in short. When my mother was a tad younger. She and minato namikaze, our father naruto, got really fuggin hammered and they bumped uglies. My mother left, saying she was overwhelmed with grief and she couldn't live there anymore. When in reality she was pregers with minato's child."

"Anywho, my mother and shizune left. Shizune was the midwife and she is my godmother. At the age of three my mother abandoned e in rice country. Which was later at my age of seven, taken over by orochimaru. He took me in, raised me, raped me. But I won't go more in to that. Too many bad memories. " as kohaku continued on, his eyes became mildly increasingly moist. Crybaby. "Then he wanted my body in another way. As his own. I wouldn't let him and so I ran away. Effectively becoming the first and ONLY missing nin from the sound. I am very proud of that fact seeing as the pervert likes to kill people who show any sign of weakness or disloyalty on sight. Or at least he did". As kohaku finished, they approached the gates of konoha.

"Well here we are. Home sweet home." Naruto said relief in his heart for not having to listen to his half-brothers person horseshit anymore.

"K-Kohaku-san, where will you stay?" Hinata asked the musician. Unsure whether or not she should care about her fiancé's newly discovered family.

"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it. Shall we?" kohaku told the shy kunoichi.

As they made their final descent onto the hokages office they received strange looks from the villagers.

"hey bro, whats the big deal with the villagers? Looks like someone just ripped a huge one." (yes I just made a fart joke. You all knew it was coming. So sue me. But do me a favor and put the sopena in the form of a REVIEW). Kohaku asked his newfound relative.

"Th- they probably aren't sure who you are kohaku. They see your sound headband and don't know what to think. Im sure" explained the most timid kunoichi.

"Ahhhh. I see" kohaku said. Relieved. He then whispered to his half-brothers ear."hey naruto, is your fiancé traded or something. She keeps stuttering and its freakin me out. Like when you see Michael j. fox on tv and you just feel bad."

"NO MY BEAUTFUL FIANCE IS NOT A MENTAL RETARD YOU ASSHOLE! SHE'S JUST A LITTLE SHY! THAT'S ALL! GOD YOU HAVE NO MANNERS!" Naruto yelled, furious that someone had insulted his beloved. She was already humiliated and disgraced as a child, she didn't need anymore.

When they finally entered the hokages office Tsunade was plastered, as always. With paperwork urywhere, as always. And of course sleeping, as always.

"oh I love doing this" Naruto said, his voice filled to the brim with excitement.

He quickly grabbed some whipped cream from the fridge and a feather from a strange Mexican lookin thingy on the wall. He did the classic kids prank as usual.

"NARUTOOOO! I WILL KILL YOU!" the drunken hokage bellowed.

Tsunade the proceeded to punch naruto in the back of his head. Putting him in a new hole in the wall from the last few times this had happened. She had recently put a sign above it labeled "naruto's corner of pain".

Hinata rushed to comfort her beloved and to make sure he was ok. Tsunade then noticed the newcomer in the group.

"who the flying fuck are you? A sound defector? A Leaf enemy? A captured ninja? A message deliverer? A stripogram?' obviously still a little plastered. Began to squeeze his man titties (yes I said man titties).

"No, he's your son" shino said stoically, and hurriedly. He didn't want tsunade's hand to progress any further than it already had.

A/N: so that's it for this chapter anyway guys. I apologise for breaking the 4th wall that much and for making it a tad dark here and there. I just got done watching Alvin and the chipmunks on cable because I was bored as hell and there was nothing better on. And I needed some adult themes to balance it out. This IS rated M. there probably won't be a lemon. I also apologise for all the background info on the character. But I felt it was needed. And I don't do flashbacks. I just don't fucking do them. Deal with it. Can I just say anime/manga relies too much on flashbacks. I mean. In one piece we are just now finally getting over what? 6 episodes of nothing but unimportant fluff flashbacks and what? 10 chapters of background info in the manga? So I ask you anime writers. WHO the hell CARES? Ok hoped you enjoyed it. Review or I won't write another goddamn chapter. Flames will be used for making smores, as previously mentioned. And also snake weenies (do you see what I did there?).


	4. The 6 doppelgangers of who cares

**Trials of the half-brother chapter 4**

A/N: ok, form the two reviews I got last chapter(thanks for the smores btdubs) people are not exactly a fan of the length of my authors notes? At least that's how it sounds. Well to them I say this. You don't have to read these damned things. I do these to ramble. Deal with it. Also it has nothing t do with the story. Just read the recap and you should be golden. I apologise to anyone else whose read last chapter hating my authors notes. But hey, thanks for the reviews.

Recap: Tsunade was groping kohaku when shino told her that kohaku was her son

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto. But can you really, "own" anything man?

"WHAT!" Tsunade bellowed, her left hand still on her sons supple teet.

"I am your son, mother. Please stop fondling my man boobs, those are my bread and butter, I cant have you fucking up my bread and butter." Kohaku said, with a mixture or awkwardness and pure fear leaking out of his voice.

"K-k-koha-kohaku?"

"Yes mother. And if I do say so myself, you got some splainin' to do!" as kohaku said this, his voice became increasingly Italian and a mustache randomly grew on his face.

"OH MY GOD MY BABYS A FREAK! LOOK AT THAT THING!" Tsunade yelled, a mixture of terror and jokiness . she had just been shocked with the arrival of her "long-lost" son, she had to get even somehow.

After his mother's last outburst, out of pure depression, the very hair follicles on his face became so depressed that they receded back into his face. If you were to put your head next to his over the following moments, you could hear tiny gunshots and screams of horror in the distance. (suicidal hair follicles? I think so) oh yeah, he also fell to the floor, his face in a state of pure depression and sadness.

"Get me a gun" kohaku pleaded

"No" Tsunade answered

"Please?"

"No"

"Pwetty Pweeze with nutella on top?"

"Throw in a subway coupon, you got yourself a deal!"

"Damn, I gave my last one to naruto to come here"

"Well it looks like your, as they say, shit out of luck!" Tsunade chuckled to herself quietly, like a young man watching an internet video which they will later tell their friends is 'the funniest shit evarrrr'.

"Well…" kohaku said rudely, as if expecting something form his absentee mother.(god what an _asshole_)

"Let's not talk about that now. I am afraid my duties as godaime outweigh my needs as a horrible mother". Tsunade said with a sense of duty. Mostly to piss him off for scaring the shit out of her by letting her fondle his breastisses.

"Ok, _fine_". Kohaku spoke, like a whiny little bitch.

'You made me this way!'

Oh why don't you grow a pair, take a picture of it, then send it to yourself. That way you can remind yourself what BALLS LOOK LIKE!

'God I hate you'

Yeah well leave in a **review** buddy.

"Ok mother, while I was busy being an abandoned orphan getting touched inappropriately by a pedo-sannin, I was able to master and create a few jutsus. Such as my music genjutsu. Once me, or my doppelgangers, whom you'll meet in a second, play one of our instruments. It puts a very heavy genjutsu on certain targets specific to the song. The targets may vary." Kohaku said in a very anime explaining sort of way. The kind of way that would piss off people who hate the story.

"Interesting, can you summon your doppelgangers here?" Quizzed the slug sannin.

"Yes but they're not summons, they're very strong clones of myself which feed off of different aspects of my personality. So I can't summon them all here at once, or I would die, or at the very least, end up like shino here. No emotions, no screen time. Just…..there." Kohaku continued to explain. Lil scientific bastard.

'Go eat a dick'.

You really want to suggest something to me? The almighty author. I can make _you_ do that you know.

'I take it back'.

Yeah that's right bitch.

"ok, here goes" Kohaku prayed. Hoping the almighty, god-like author, would not have him eat more cockmeat sandwiches than a fat kid a chick-fil-a.

**Dopperugengā no kurōn gijutsu **(doppelganger clone technique)

Immediately, six clones of kohaku appeared, all dressed differently with different instruments. Kohaku then walked up to one hat was dressed like Jason Mraz with an acoustic guitar on his back.

"This guy here is one that you guys have already met before. My Douche clone" Kohaku proclaimed

"How interesting" Hinata said whilst walking away from her now recovered fiancé (he was hit for being an idiot last chapter, use your noggins) and onward towards said clone.

"I'm yours baby" the douche clone said while taking her hand and kissing it.

Right after that the douchebag was dispelled by Hinata as she gave it a juuken shot to the heart.

"I'm taken." She turned to kohaku," N-nii-san, your clone was an a-asshole".

"He was just being polite!" Kohaku defended.

"Oh, n-no I punched him for wearing a fedora and jorts. Its fucking freezing outside!" Hinata quickly stated.

"Whatever" kohaku said, without a care in the world.

Kohaku then walked to the next one. This clone seemed very fidgety, had ratty clothes on, and several tiny empty syringes in his hands.

"This is my drugee clone" Kohaku said. Putting his back on the clone, only to have it pull away from his hand viciously.

"GET THE FUG OFF OF ME MAN! I'M TOO BUSY WINNING! (yes, yes I have a Charlie sheen joke source in this. If you don't like it. Tell me in a _**review**_) NOW BUTT OFF OF THE SHEEN!" the clone spoke this with malice in his voice, attitude, and blog. He had a smartphone in his hand and was tweeting every word he had just spoke as if it was the new testament needing to be spread awkwardly throughout the high school parking lot.

"Hes a tad emotional right now. He used to be funny but now its just sad. He just hasn't been the same since he lost his job as a waiter to a younger, smarter douche" whispered kohaku to the rest of the group.

"Was this new douche at least a good waiter?" asked Hinata. She cared for all things. Sober or fucked up.

"ehhhh kinda. He was really successful in a shenanigans restaurant in the 90's but ever since he worked at that skunked restaurant. He's just been a gigantic douche." Said kohaku to the worried Hyuuga. (if youre not getting the reference I am alluding to the dickweed known as ashton cootchner or whatever his name is taking over for Charlie sheen on 2 ½ men)

Kohaku then dispelled the clone because it looked like it was about to hmp Tsunade, or shino, or both. He couldn't tell they were too close together.

"Moving on then." He walked up to another clone who had dreadlocks and a weed t-shirt on with purple pants, a peace necklace and a drum over his shoulder.

"This is my damned hippie clone." Kohaku said, trying not to get a contact high from touching his doppelganger.

"Hey man, this the grass village? I heard theres some neat stuff over at the grass village man. Like weed" the clone said blunty. Hehe, bluntly. Its funny cause blunt is another name for a joint.

"No goddammit. This is the leaf village. Just, go over in the corner and make a knitting circle, or tie dye shirts or something in the corner. I don't really feel like dealing with you." Kohaku said, his voice ripe with disappointment and frustration with his weed-loving personality"

"Wait? Is this the hokages office man?" the doppelganger said.

"Yeah why?" Tsunade answered

"Kaa-san NO!" Kohaku pleaded. But he was too late

The hippie doppelganger quickly lit something out of nowhere on fire. "DOWN WITH THE ESTABLISHMENT MAN! END POINTLESS WARS MAN! BURN DOWN THE ESTABLISHMENT!" the clone continued by turning to the curtains and setting it on fire. "THERES THE WILL OF FIRE FOR YOU!"

The clone was quickly dispelled by kohaku and the fire was put out quickly and quietly.

"You're paying for the damages" Tsunade informed her son.

"Yeah, I know" the former sound-nin answered.

Kohaku then turned to the 4th clone. This one was dressed in full bondage gear from head to toe. He then unzipped the zipper covering his mouth. With a whip in his hand.

"This is my senator clone. Don't give him your phone number unless you want some very unfortunate photos." Kohaku warned the ninjas.

"My safe word is pubic mustard" the clone said before rezipping his mouth hole and postioning himself in front of Hinata.

"W-w-w-what d-d-d-d-d-d-does he w-w-w-w-want?" Hinata said worriedly for what she was supposed to do.

"I think he wants you to spank him" Tsunade answered for the pervert in the room.

Hinata then grew bright red and then passed out near a couch. The clone then postioned himself on top of Hinata. Not humping her. Just sitting on her.

"WHY YOU CHEEKY LITTLE BASTARD!" Naruto yelled as he charged at the clone.

**Rasengan**!

The clone ate a Rasengan to the crotch before he flew to the hole in the wall from when Tsunade hit naruto earlier and then disappeared.

Naruto ran up to his half-brother. Fist clenched and ready to strike.

"Easy bro. It wasn't my fault. It was my doppelganger, my evil twin." Kohaku pleaded

"Like hell it was uh-huh- whoaaa!" Naruto screamed as a large metallic can was placed over his head.

"Phew. Well this is as good a time as any. Guys this is my frat boy clone." Kohaku said as he gestured towards a form of himself with a fraternity visor around his head whilst he wore a simple t-shirt that said "GU Go Bearkats!" (Google Sam Houston university if you think this isn't a real mascot) on it.

"What's GU?" asked shino

"Shino don't!" kohaku warned shino.

"Its only the greatest goddamn place of all time WHOOOO! YEAHH BEARKATS! NOW WHO WANTS TO GET FUCKD UP? YEAH! WHOOO!"

The doppelganger then chugged three beers in a row, then crushed the cans against his head. He then got the bad idea in his head to crush a beer bottle against his head. He then passed out by breaking the bottle over his head when he couldn't crush it. He then disappeared, along with the empty keg on narutos body. Whom was now passed out on the floor after running into the wall.

"God I need better clones." Kohaku sighed, "Oh well, onto the last clone for today, everyone. This is my Classy clone." As kohaku said this a copy of himself wearing a top hat and an 1860s nobleman outfit stood up carrying a viola in one hand, with a cup of tea and a cane in the other.

"Hrmm yes…. Quite. Hm indeed. Hehe good show" the doppelganger said in a mild British accent.

"We didn't say anything. And where did you get that tea? All I have is sake?" Tsunade asked the doppelganger. Nobody gets into her sake droor without losing a limb, or being richer than George Lucas after releasing another shitty sequel or prequel in HDD4D on DVD.

"What? Oh yes, I shall serenade you will a daunting little diddy of my own." Said the now obviously plastered doppelganger.

"What? No, I wanted to know where you got that tea?" Tsunade asked before getting cut off.

"Forget it Kaa-san, hes fucked up. Ill just -aaauugghhh" Yelled kohaku as his doppelganger played his viola. It sounded like nails having vicious nasty sex on a chalkboard.

"What? You don't enjoy my daunting little diddy? ILL KILL YOU, COMMONERS!" the doppelganger yelled drunk as he took a sword from out of his cane.

Kohaku dispelled the doppelganger just before he was about to plunge it through his long-lost mothers busty chest.

"WHAT THE HELL MAN!" Tsunade yelled in her sons ear. "DID MY CROOKED FORMER TEAMMATE TEACH YOU HOW TO SUMMON THESE SHITTY THINGS!"

"Yes, but in my defense they aren't combat clones, those to help me produce a more powerful genjutsu, also those six are some of my worst clones. I don't like to show off. That was just a sample" said kohaku. He was obviously upset with the performance of his clones since they had made Hinata pass out, made naruto so confused he knocked himself out. Literally scared the shit out of shino(he left after that), and took his known-to-be-drunk absentee mothers favorite beverage without her consent.

"Fine. Well, im out of sake, we are alone. If you want, we can talk. That way you can get some answers and I can get to know my son better".

"Ok, but this has been the longest chapter so far, just want to quit while were ahead"? The author made kohaku say.

Sure, we were going to actually progress majorly in the storyline but whatever, balls to it." Tsunade agreed, "Anyway, long as were here," she pressed a button, "SHIZUNE! BRING ME SOME SAKE! AND LOTS OF IT! I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER THE NEXT CHAPTER AND IM SURE THE READERS DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER THIS ONE SO BRING SOME UP PRONTO!"

A/N: well like the chesty woman said this is my longest chapter so far ar around 2300 words. Yay me. Feel free to congratulate me in a** review** again, like I said before you don't have to read these damned note is foy don't want to do anyway. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW GOD DAMMIT REVIEW!


	5. AWW its going down!

**Trials of the half-brother**

A/N: alright guys. Good for you, I got bored, there was a singular and review, and I was touched by the number of hits this story has gotten in such a short time. From people in over 7 countries! So this chapter will focus on why Tsunade left kohaku and what the hell is going on. Sort of. Any suggestions, comments concerns should be left in a _**review**_. Also there have been a few people wondering what kohaku looks like. As I said in the first chapter he has an ensemble almost completely identical to that of the little boy in the 3rd movie only brown. I can't really describe it. I suck at descriptions. Sorry

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto, I don't want naruto. He can go suck a cock if he thinks I can deal with all that money. Believe it!

Setup: When last we left our heroes, 2 were passed out, one was drunk, and another just left.

"Thank you shizune. I was beginning to lose my buzz" Tsunade said, clearly lying because it was obvious to anyone but herself that she was shitfaced. But somehow still coherent, impressive. Last time I got that drunk I woke up and I had yelled at my best friend, called my girlfriend a slut. And someone had shit in my pants. Snaps for you Tsunade.

"You're welcome Tsunade-sama," Shizune said as she turned her head, her gaze fixed on kohaku, "Oh my goodness! Kohaku? Is that really you? Last time I saw you you were only this tall!" Shizune said as she referenced to slightly above her head. As she had seen him last about twenty minutes ago when he walked in.(do you see, what I did there?)

"Fuck off shizune," Kohaku said, obviously now pissed off because he had been in konoha for a little over 45 minutes and only gotten cursed at, groped, and looked at funny because of his 'shit happens' T-shirt. Hinata advised against it because she was caring but he Quote unquote, 'didn't give a shit'.

"Well, fuck off to you too kohaku!" Shizune said with a cheerful tone in her voice. She had gotten into Tsunade's sake droor earlier after she saw kohaku walk in because she knew she was about to be in for some real serious shit today.

As shizune closed the door Kohaku slammed his hands on his plastered mother's desk.

"I WANT ANSWERS NOW HAG!" Kohaku screamed. Frustration being the only emotion present in his voice.

"All right, alright now yougin, I'll give you all the answersss you ned. Just chill and ask awehh." As Tsunade said this her speech was obviously becoming slurred. Kohaku was now rushed for time. He needed to be fast if he wanted the full unvarnished truth from his mother as it was clear he wasn't going to get it while encumbered.

"Ok, first off," kohaku began to tear up, not a single tear escaping his eyes as he wiped his eyes anytime they began to trickle out of his tear ducts, "Why did you abandon me?"

Tsunade began to slump in her chair and slurr her speech a bit more. "I weffft choo beacowze you weminded me toooo much of konohahaha and my bad memories there."

"THEN WHY IN THE BLOODY FUCK ARE YOU THE HOKAGE NOW! DID YOU LOSE A BET OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT!" After kohaku said this he thought to himself, 'he he he, what kind of dumb bitch would put a wager on returning to the place she hates the most.'

"Welll actuwey…." Tsunade confessed.

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE SHITTING ME?" kohaku then thought in anger, 'my mother is the WORST kind of person'.

"That bwat ovuh theya learnt tha wasengen in a moth" she then pointed the finger of blame towards naruto.

"What? A moth? OH a month. Well that's ok except, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! YOU STILL LEFT ME TO DIE IN THE HANDS OF A PETIFILE! Honestly, youre worse than those moms who ask nice men wearing trench coats filled with candy to take care of their kids while they go have sex with the pool boy." Kohaku said calmly, yet furiously.

"Ugh, can we geyt ovuh that, I thawt we got ovuh that, didn't we shizuneeee?" Tsunade asked, getting increasingly shitfaced as time went on.

There was a long silence.

"Shizune's not here, that's what I hope is an incredibly lifelike inflatable training dummy" kohaku said as he referenced to the blow-up doll.

"Oh! I wondered why she seemed so shocked (picture a blow-up doll. If you don't know what it looks like just go through your dad closet, im sure theres on there). Anyway, I abandoned jew because chew stopped being cute anyd jews kept reminding me of dan." Tsunade then ran off on the conversation and began singing 'oh danny boy'

"Oh Danny boy! The pwipes, tha pwypes *hic!*

As she sang, Kohaku thought to himself.

"Aw cawlliinnnggggg!"

'hrmm, she does seem guilty feeling, she's been crying a little bit since I yelled at her, even though up until now the author has decided that the precious time it takes to type a few extra words were worth making this part of the story completely unemotional even though it should be' kohaku though as the author contemplated making him go eat a chicken (cockmeat) sandwich sometime in the next chapter.

'you wouldn't' kohaku threatened his creator

Don't tempt me, Hrmmm perhaps OH here we go, then, kohaku saw a rather large piece of cylindrical chicken. He then saw some bread on the shelf behind him.

'fine! I'll stop! Just please keep my sexuality intact!' kohaku pleaded. Getting down on his knees, an unfortunate position for him to be in considering recent events.

Very well, but your rebuilding the 4th wall this time. I'm tired of rebuilding it for you little shits.

'deal!'

Back in the real world, Tsunade was still singing drunk, out of tune and forgetting certain parts of the song and putting in other lyrics to the same tune.

"Oh the pwypes, the pwypes, are a long, long way from home (5 points to Gryffindor to anyone who can tell me in a review what songs she steals the lyrics from in a _**review**_)

'well, what harm could come in forgiving her, lets weigh the pros and cons kohaku thought, long and hard (hehe, take that as the last part of your "punishment").

"Oh stacy's mom, ohhhh stacy's mom!" Tsunade sang, seemingly about to pass out from swaying back and forth.

'pro 1, I can finally stop being a missing nin, though is the sound village still there? Eh, whatever, if mishimoto doesn't give a shit, neither do I.'

What did I say about the 4th wall man? C'mon, your fixing that

'oh fug it all man, ill do it later, I promise, but for now, Mr. scarned, tear down that wall!' kohaku thought entirely in a Reagan voice.

Fine.

"OH something, something, oh balls to it. Whereshh my mummy water?" Tsunade bellowed, it looked like she was about to lose it and pass out.

Kohaku turned to his drunken mother. The bastard son of the Yondaime gently placed his palm to his faced in a vastly disappointed and saddened fashion with a sigh.

"ok, I forgive you, but only if you let me join konoha" kohaku told his mother, whom at this point was on the floor.

"JEWS BET!" Tsunade whole heartedly told her long-lost son. After this she immediately stood up in order to try to get shizune to bring in the paperwork so she could make her son a citizen and shinobi of the leaf. But she then passed out and fell behind her desk after a couple of steps.

"Oh!" Kohaku spoke up, "I also want my family to be allowed to live here with me. You can meet your grandson."

After a few seconds of silence he looked over his mothers desk, found her passed out with a smile on her face. He then sighed out of disappointment.

"well I geuss the readers will have to be pissed off on another cliffhanger again thanks to the authors laziness and my mothers love of some good booze" kohaku said, completely forgetting his deal with me earlier.

'aww shit'

Kohaku then reached for the cylindrical piece of chicken from earlier…

Stuff happened off screen that made orochimaru look like a saint compared to the author.

A/N: Not too bad right? I again apologise for not being able to describe what he looks like but I hate doing descriptions and whenever I imagine kohaku he wears what I said from earlier. Anyways if you have any questions, comments, concerns, fuel for my smores makin' machine, whatevs. Please do so in a **REVIEW**. Hey you know whats cool? **REVIEWS**. You know what makes new chapters come by faster? **REVIEWS**. You know why Jim Carrey has no respect from anyone anymore? **REVIEWS!** No, dumbasses its movies like Mr. popper's penguins.


	6. Tsunade's run

**Trials of the half-brother Chapter 6**

A/N: Hey everybadyy!, Michael scarned here with chapter 6 of the series. The reviews I'm getting for this are very nice, and I appreciate them. But you know what I appreciate more than my current reviews, two things, my girlfriend, and **MORE REVIEWS**. So enjoy this chapter, or I will hunt you down and smite you down with my t-shirt cannon.

Disclaimer: I don't fuggin own, fuggin naruto. Nor do I fuggin want, fuggin naruto. Therefore there shall be no lemons. (see what I did there?)

Recap: At the end of the last chapter, Tsunade passed out, naruto and Hinata were passed out in Tsunade's office, shizune was following in Tsunade's and getting shitfaced at work, anddd OH, YEAH, that's right, kohaku joined the leaf and wants his family to join too. (I'll explain later)

"I'll just go then," kohaku said upon surveying the damage that he had done in a short span of 45 minutes.

As kohaku left the office he saw shizune, nearly passed out, singing as she lay her head on her desk.

"shizune.."

" _Believe it or not, I'm walkin on air! Who ever knew I could be so free he hee heeeee!"_

"shizune…shizune"

Kohaku wondered where the hell he had heard that song before. Surely it wouldn't be from something memorable.

"_Headin out, on a whim, and a prayer! Who could it be? Believe it or not, its just meeeee!"_

"SHIZUNE!"

"Eh, whats?" asked shizune, a little startled with the sudden arrival of her long, forgotten and abandoned godson.

"I need you to fill out this paperwork and when my drunken whore of a mother wakes up give her this," Kohaku says with a mixture of sadness, sarcasm, and frustration while handing his godmother an envelope.

Meanwhile shizune is off in her own world. Still humming the same tune, still playing over the somehow memorable 80's TV show theme song in her head.

"I'll just…..leave these here. Yeah, im gonna go…..not be..here….yeah….ok….bye" kohaku told his godmother. Not sure whether to be amused, annoyed or aroused at this woman's actions.

'….'

Really? No going to argue with me this time?

'How did you know?' kohaku asked the author, dumbfounded by how he knew his dirty little secret.

You have a massive tent in your pants man.

'Ah, so I do' kohaku thought as he walked away to a secluded area of the hokage tower, defeated. So that he may avert his "situation".

Meanwhile, Naruto was just waking up with Hinata in tsunade's office.

"eh.. what happened?" Naruto asked to no particular person.

"I d-don't know, b-but I f-f-feel v-violated. W-where's kohaku? And why is Tsunade-sama passed out?" Hinata responded and then asked two questions. For those keeping score that's one more than naruto. Both of which were already asked in naruto's question. Basic woman for you, always obsessed with the details.

Naruto then walked up to the passed out hokage in order to wake her up and make sense of what the fuck just happened.

"Obaa-chan! Obaa –chan! OOOOOBBBBBAAAAAA-CCHHHAAAANNNNNN!" naruto said, then began to scream into his leaders ear.

"WHAT THE FUCK GAKI!" Tsunade yelled as she beat naruto upside the head.

A few moments passed and naruto was out cold again on the floor, with Hinata sitting over him in an attempt to help him.

"where's kohaku?" Was all that Tsunade could say after blinking a few times. As she said this you could hear a faint amount of pain and frustration in her voice. She probably had a mild hangover. For those of you wondering, in the village of konoha, in terms of drunks, she is the equivalent of alan from the hangover, meaning she liked to get drunk in a group, but she doesn't really that often. Also the second time she get drunk with you, isn't quite as entertaining as the first (He he. I made a reference. For those counting that's 2 references in this series)

Tsunade started looking for her lost son when she saw shizune, drunk, and clutching onto an envelope that read 'grandmamma Tsunade' on it.

"I'll just take that my poor, drunken little apprentice" Tsunade said as she slid the envelope from shizune.

As she read the letter, tsunade's face sould be seen going from that of a tired old bitch, to that of a proud old bitch.

_Dear grandmamma Tsunade,_

_Even though you abandoned me to be molested by that asshole orochimaru, which the memories of I am about to go cry in the bathroom about, I forgive you seeing as your intentions were to avoid pain. While these intentions were not the noblest of excuses, I do need to forgive you in order to become a shinobi of konoha. I am tired of running because of the goddamn bingo books. Also I must ask that you make my family citizens as well. I have sent for them via clone in order for them to be here. They should be here in about twelve hours. Now because I know you are now plastered and passed out right now. The time as I write this is 6 pm, on june 6__th__. I will be waiting for my family by the main gate at 5:30-ish. So if you want to talk, I suggest you not bring booze because I will fuggin take it from you._

_With neutrality,_

_Senju kohaku_

"And it is…5:45am fan-fuggin-tastic" Tsunade said unenthusiastically, "SEEYA SHIZUNE!" Tsunade bellowed in order to wake up her charge as she ran away.

"WHA! Ehh? Huh? Wait, was that a g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost?" Shizune questioned in a terrified voice as she cowered underneath her desk. "I aint putting up with this shit no more, I had enough of this with the sky ninjas (2nd shippuden movie)."

Meanwhile, Tsunade was running with all of her strength to the main gate.

"OUTTA MA WAY BITCHES!" Tsunade roared as she rand through the town.

Now I'm going to be honest here, fuggin nobody was on the streets at 6 in the fuggin morning, honestly, who does that? Not me, that's for sure. But yeah, Tsunade was a little buzzed still.

As Tsunade made her way to the front gate, she accidently ran into several shops, and carts. She didn't give a fuck, she just wanted to meet her long-lost baby's family.

As she finally got to the main gate, she ran into her son, literally. He was on the floor, spirals for eyes, whelp on his head, the whole schpiel.

Then, the gates opened, and kohaku was able to recompose himself.

"Hey babe! I missed you so much!" kohaku yelled with his eyes closed as he ran towards the opening of the main gate.

Now when the gates opened, there stood a man, in some kind of? I dunno, jorts, with an open, red button up sleeveless shirt and a straw hat on.

"Where is the one piece?" asked monkey D. luffy. (A/N: Don't worry, this isn't a crossover, its just a random request from a friend of mine. If you have a request, please ask me in a_** review**_)

"Who the hell are you?" asked Kohaku as he opened his eyes to view this strange looking man.

"I'm gonna be King of the pirates!" Answered the confused rubber-man.

"well I think your in the wrong country for that, try going to Somalia, this is random ninja land." Kohaku told the poor idiotic pirate.

Just then a random other man whom looked like a total badass walked up top luffy.

"Luffy come on, we're in the wrong story. The Four Crosses sent me here to get you" Said the strange badass.

"Okey dokey reapuh" Luffy told the badass.

As the two men left to their own damned fanfiction, kohaku prepared for the flames, sure to come and bought an assload of marshmallows and hot dogs.

Then, around 6-ish, still standing there in awkward silence, the gates opened again to reveal two three people, one of whom Tsunade recognized as kohaku's douche clone.

Kohaku then ran directly to one of the new people, the woman in the middle and yelled, "HEY BABY, I MISSED YOU!"

Tsunade then looked at the woman his son was running to. She wore a mahogany kimono and had long, brown hair with beautiful, deep brown eyes.

As she watched her son hug the woman whom she assumed was his girlfriend, she looked at the other person there. Whom was looking all over the village, as if looking for flaws.

This woman was much older, lots of wrinkles, and had her grey hair up in a butterfly shaped bun. She also wore a purple kimono. Obviously these people like to dress fancy.

And then, something magical happened, the author decided it was a great time to end this chapter and rant about how little reviews he got. And so, as if on cue, he took it.

A/N: Ok, first off, that little one piece part was on request of my friend, whom is an author here, The Four Crosses. He has a phenomenal LuHan fanfic, so if you're in to that paring, then check it out. So, as usual, uhh… **review**, **review**,** review**, and oh, yeah right. **Fuggin review**.

And, geuss what? If you don't review. No more chapters. If you don't want any more chapters, tha chill. Just don't review. Also, all flames will be used to roast marshmallows.


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